its been dunno how many donkey years since i blogged . no idea why i suddenly get this impluse - jus got the urge to write down into words all that i'm thinkin and feelin , b4 i suffer a mental breakdown .

no kidding .

Then again , dun tink anyone will get to see tis . mayb a few lucky ones surfing random blogs might , hu noes ?

All the content in tis blog is dated since sometime back in 2004 , until tis very day , and will continue i reckon . Whenever i get tis xtreme desire to blog lyk 2day , anyway .

ok so wads the latest ?

actually there isnt much tinks interesting abt my (UN-glamourous)life anymore that pp wld lyk to read abt , or that i would want to blog abt - to boast abt my new fling with the cute guy hu hangs at cine all the time or wadeva .

i dont wanna sound so SAD or so DOWN lyk a little girl who's lost her way , i dont wanna appear so weak. even if i rlly am jus tt way . But ,

I'm out of LOVE .

u people shld be wondering , hu dump hu ; hu cheated on hu ; hu lied to hu yada yada .

how shld i put it . . . ? OKAY , skip all those unneccesary details , i dont wan 2 be reminded ! This relationship i have with tis guy( lets call him Mr T) , has been going on since beginning of the 06 .
I took sometime to rlly get myself into tis relationship , lyk get serious n rlly begin to love him wholeheartedly . which i did . And tis relationship oso took quite a while to rlly be stable n all . I considered tis as my 2nd relationship which i rlly put my hart n soul into .
There were happy times , equally unhappy times as well . but we both work our way out . Until one fine day earlier tis wk , i found out tt Mr T to not be the guy i noe anymore , or AT ALL actually . He said some things which rlly taken me aback . Only then did i realized his true self . Not tt his true self is UGLY or wad , but jus not the person tt i've imagined myself to have loved for tis nearly 7 months of tis relationship . Wads more, he lied . Lied to me abt sometink which i can nvr 4give him for .

I dun want to sound so unfair to him , cuz tis is only my one side of the story . I oni can say i'm always , and i am being v blatantly honest abt the tinks i say, or write in tis case .

Wad can i say ? its all been a misjudgement of my own . A wrong decision i made . Feel that the whole 7 months of tis relationship is wasted , n i hate to noe tt . Knowing him was a mistake , being with him and loving him is a BIGGER one .

tis past months i wld have been better off single n having noe more guys n open to alot more other options . LOL . dun ya'tink??

U noe i no longer tink i can believe in relationships , all my past xperiences have taught me so much . AND i'm now so cynical , whenever i see lovey dovey couples going on oni a short time , appear so oh-so-sweet yet so insincere, it jus turns me off .

BIG DEAL , i dun nid a man to live ~ !

hu says true sincere love will be reciprocated ? all bull .

i dun lyk to be feeling so much hatred , so much anger , so much pain . the last thing i wan is to come across as a naive little girl hu tinks guys r pigs . Guys r cute , meant to be anyway . BUT Some jus made themselves out to be so CHEAP . i'll be fine , i jus nid some time to walk out of tis .

And in case u didnt noe , my past relationship's shadow stil haunting me .

but i'll be happy , bcuz i deserve that .

PS. Ru , rmb : make ur stand n be firm . u'll learn how to let go then .